are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
