k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
