what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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