i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
