if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
