When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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