yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
