I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
