i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
People in love make me want to vomit
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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