I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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