I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
