I look better un-naked...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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