Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
