Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We smell like vodka and hangover
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