Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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