Sponge bath it is.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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