like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
These tits shall not be calmed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
