woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize