Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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