The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
