Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
