everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
