I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize