or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
