nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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