i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
