Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
