sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
