So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
