his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
