Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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