Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
