did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
