I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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