i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize