no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
