honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
