when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
