worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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