ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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