is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
