I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
