Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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