I should be sponsored by Trojan
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
