His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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