question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize