This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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