im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
