Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
