i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
