omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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