all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
