wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
