the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
