drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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