is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
