Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize