Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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