why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
