He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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