the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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