Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
