Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
