Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
