I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
